I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
