Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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