I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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