Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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