every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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