he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
