nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
