Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You are a genius and a whore.
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