I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
