I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
