I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
