And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
