I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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