Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm always down for nudity.
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