I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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