Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
