eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
