Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
