i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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