Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
