I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
