Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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