no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
