Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
