i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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