I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
