So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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