dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
