I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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