I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
