tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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