UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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