Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
