I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
