Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
