I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
