But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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