At least make sure they are 18
Why
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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