Ambien. No doubt about it.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
