I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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