worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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