We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
