is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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