dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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