I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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