I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
