Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
