He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
