I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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