so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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