my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
