It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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